Tags....

5 places I've lived...
*New Market, Ont. where I was born :)
*Calgary
*Edmonton
I have gone back and forth from Calgary and Edmonton a couple times but these are the only places I have lived!

5 Snacks I Love...
*sweetish berries
*big turk chocolate bars
*pop
*fudge
*cheese cake

5 Jobs I've had...
*Wal-mart
*Naturalizer shoes
*Battery Plus
*Superstore
*Mommy

If I had a million dollars...
*new house
*new car
*savings
*TAKE A HOLIDAY, SOMEWHERE TROPICAL AND NOT KID FRIENDLY
*mission fund and retirement

5 Things I love...
*me time
*Sara's ability to make me slow down and learn again what is like to be a fun mom, who lets her kids bake
*Joshua's eagerness to please and to try most things
*Dallin's smile, and his ability to help me see him!
*David, that he has the ability to deal with me, and to teach me patience in all things especially with my not so clean house all the time he helps me cleans, serves the Lord and works to provide for his family (before his accident now he working to get the health to provide for us again)

OK the 5 real things I love, that make me ME,
*love making cakes.
*being organized--i was once really on top of this and now trying harder to get it back as it makes a happier me.
*fun nights--i love having people over just have a hard time inviting people over
*my house decorated for Christmas
*being needed

bake sale cakes

here is the 2 cakes i did for the bake sale at the school I think they turnned out pretty good, in the next couple weeks well I have some time I am going to try a few different styles with this little bear pan.

We all need a bear hug some days!

So I wanted to try this new pan I bought for the school bake fair, but it was still a little early to keep and not be stale so I called up a person that I would consider my second mom as she has always been there when I needed to talk or cry she is one of the first people in line to tell me how amazing I am even though I am like no I am not! I am learning to be a little more graceful and excepting to these comments but I have so pride to work with and some self confidence issues to work on there too, anywise I arrived mid afternoon to drop this off at Nancy's house and she was like no take it back to your kids and after saying no you need this, she said thank you today has been a rough day so it made it all that much better to be taking it too her home, everyone needs a little bit of cheer!

A special Thank-you to a special person.

I have had this on my mind for a few days of how to write a thank you to someone who doesn't even know the effect that they had on my life.
As some know and some don't that for about 5 yrs of my life I spent it not as a active member of the church, why will I am not sure that matters now, but the fact is that I need to be thankful for this person, without there effort with me as a youth and the most important time was me as a young adult, I spent many years not wanting to be apart at all and was in a situation where the people I was staying with were against the church very strongly to the point were I had to bring out my book of Mormon when they were sleeping, but that was okay because this person just dropped of letters in my mailbox each month as they were doing for there visiting teaching with the message, and I want to tell it wasn't the message on the front that hit me it was the message on the back, tell me they loved me for who I was and to remember this, now at that point I had just alot lost a child to a miscarriage and so the spirit was very close to my heart and all I could think was I wanted my children raised the way I was because as much as the people in the church can hurt us, to me the church is so true and I know that without a doubt especially now my life. but if it wasn't for that person that listened to the spirit I may not be where I am today and my life may have been very very different. I know that Visiting teaching is a true thing from God we all need a friend through these tough times in our lives.

where or who do we fall too?

When the weight of the world bears down so strong

You leave footprints on the street

And there's too many miles to face

without a few more hours sleep

The storm clouds overhead won't shed

Any rain to quench your thirst

I wanna be the one you reach for first

When your faith is stretched so think

that you can see straight through your soul

And you can't find a nickel to buy a simle

'Cause your pockets all got holes

You wanna shut the door and hide

Before the day can get much worse

I wanna be the one you reach for first

Fall into me

My Arms are open wide and you don't have to say a word

'Cause I already see

That it's hard and you're scared and you're tired and it hurts

And I wanna be the one you reach for first

I wanna be the bottle

You've been drinking with your eyes

or the road you run away on

Youv'e been running all your life

The third row pew that you last knew

As a child in church

I wanna be the one you reach for first

Fallin into me

My arms are open wide and you don't have to say a word

'Cause I already see

That it's hard and you're scared and you're tired and it hurts

And I wanna be the one you reach for first

Before your turn the key

Before you fall asleep

Before your drift away to fight those demons

waiting for you in your dreams

Before your arms are stretched wide open

Before you're reaching for the sky

Before you're searching for direction

And all the answers to your why's

Fallin into me

Well, my arms are streched wide open, you don't have to say a word

Because I already see

That it's hard and you're scared and you're tired and I know it hurts

Yes, it's hard and you're scared and you're tired and it hurts

And I wanna be the one you reach for first

This song has just made me think alot, there is has been alot of times in this last bit that I have felt like I am being danggled from the edge of the clift and that one more thing would send me over the edge, I joke about going back to some of my old ways from years ago when it at that point it seemed to make things easier, but I know that would not solve anything, I know there trully is only one person to turn to and say I have had enough you I need help, I know that but does it always make it easier NO. I know that it seems like I only vent about life and how bad it is in my latley but this is a vent that needs to be had for ME because I am keeping alot of what I am going through inside and alot of this is just half what I am trully feeling because I don't want to upset people and make people think that I can't handle my own life, I can and I will it will just take some tears and some prayers from me and many others on my behalf, because it does take a viallge to make life work sometimes!

the lyric are from Sugarland

Album: love on the inside

song: fall into me

the phone call!

Today we received a phone call, asking how we were doing, as I said great this great sister/friend (from Wildwood ward when we were in here in Calgary before we moved to Edmonton) said I want to place your families name on the Adopt a family through my work......I paused for a moment and asked how she heard what was going on, as I had not seen her in almost 4 yrs and she said another sister had told her what was going on with David's accident and this was why she want to add our family with tears I was like that would be wonderful, she said this did not guarantee they picked our name but it was worth a try I said we would be grateful and honored just with you thinking of our family. And was left like this, we filled out the papers and sent them right back for her.

Santa really does come to Canada!

there is a first for everything right?

well tonight we got to see our first 2 reindeer ever, we were in Okotoks for the light up the town and this is what we saw well among other things but this my first and my kids looked at me strange and said they are strange. ummmm guess I have some more teaching to do before next year!

having a hard time sharing......

I have to say yes I love having the inhome services for the boys but somedays, it is just super hard to share my home, my life, my space with some people everyday. There are different ways of living different standards of living, I might not be a total perfect Mormon in all ways but somedays my head just never stops spinning from the smell of smoke from one day to another but my next problem is I am too nice to actually say anything to this girl like hey could you tone down your smoking before you come to my house, like how do you say that without by rude.

I also just want some me time, I know every mom wants this but I am so frustrated I took on this job at superstore as a break away from my life and now I so want it to end so I can sleep but with David being on WCB we need me working and it is just to much for me right now I never feel like I have a moment for me, I need to go to the doctor to see why I am tired all the time and not feeling well, but when do I have time NEVER because to go to a walk in you need more than a couple hrs and I really really don't know where to find that! I can't even leave my house for 5 mins with the aids here in the morning and then I drive the kids to school and I only have 2hrs there and then I need to pick them up and on some days it is back and forth between David and them with his therapy and then on to dinner and 2 nights a week I work and the other nights there always seems to be something or I am too tired to want to sit and be poked by someone I really don't know, I know I full of reasons or really full of excuses to my crazy life and sometimes I just need to vent and cry to myself and be alittle self centred because that is how I feel. I want to be happier and I thought being back on our own routines would get better I would deal with my life better but so far that has not been the case. maybe one day it will be once I get everything back to some what normal but who knows when that will be as David is not doing so well with his 4 hrs of therapy this week so we will see what they do yesterday was his first day of 4 hrs and he looked like crap and today he was still moving slow so when he went today I said make sure they know so I am not sure what the plan will become yet. Today is the lets look at the glass as it half empty vs the half full........

Dallin lost his first........

TOOTH

I was totally shocked, he did not compain at all about being lose or even fallin out, we didn't hear him for a bit so david went in his room to see what he was doing and david could tell he was looking for something, and so david was like what are you looking for my tooth, I need to put it on my pillow for the tooth fariy, if david had not gone in there then we would never have know and he would have been one sad child, he got .50cents for it and he was so excited.

PHL last party.

this is picture of them all before they went home, 2 have stayed for the winter and will be over alot more, but next year there will be 14 coming over!

Well as many know this year was alittle different, after 3 season with Classic Landscape in Edmonton we switched to Peter Huges Landscape in Calgary many reasons behind it but the general idea is Calgary is where we needed to be, our first part was a little bit of a shock as well it was not a mormon party at all, and the wine and beer was to say in higher demand then the pop went home and said not sure how this year is going to be. Let me tell you before this accident david had this was the BEST year we have ever had, I have never felt so special as a wife and as a person by people david has worked with. I did do a few birthday cakes for some of the guys I got to know more but I thought as a going back home present I would make them a cake, and let me tell you when they all saw it at first I was the greatest person in the world, it made me feel great.

As the night went on they started playing with the cake, as this is trully the italian flag without the middle part and so then they laied down the middle part to make it the true flag and then just before the cut it up the stood the flag up to have some fun.

I am so glad that they enjoyed it, I will miss the time they are gone and hope to get to know them a little better next year

Sensory fun for the day!

how much sensory fun can you have with shaving cream, apparently a lot, I personally was a little ummmm disturbed by the mess and the smell just as much as Joshua was he really really hates getting dirty or things on his hands and our OT Emma drove his McQueen car in the shaving cream to get him to touch it and as he was almost crying he cleaned his car off and touched it but he was not happy with Emma that day.

Dallin on the other hand was loving this activity once he got into it, it was alot to get him there as he as well wanted to wash his hands right away but he did stay and play for a good 20mins. Way to go Dallin!

A Great Day

So I would love to say that life has been a walk in the park lately and that I have been the happiest person in the world, but that would be a total lie.....as I made a comment yesterday to one of the ladies at church I said it was going to be a great week, I really meant it with a HUGE amount of sarcasm, and these 2 ladies we like I wish I could have her attitude as she has more going on in her life then we do, and i felt like oops I should have told them I meant different, but later it made me think as we went out to Barb and Glenn's that I needed to take this on this week, I need to make this a great week! there is alot going on but yet there is so little compared to other people it truly is perspectives, your day will only be as great as you allow it. there is a ton of positive going on, David went to the gym 3 days last week and on to day 1 of this week but did great last week he has even stopped taking his perscripton advial and is just down to the store level and that was just one the weekend when we did too much for him. but he also drove this weekend and he drove to therapy today, this morning I woke up early to go to therapy at the school, and I was actually somewhat happy to be up in the morning not as go go as others but I was not as dead as I could be. The boys are doing awesome in therapy and they are doing the most amazing I have ever seen them in primary and it is such a blessing for me, I know more than ever that Heavenly Father hand picked this house out for us, the blessings that keep pouring down on our live is amazing. David would probably roll over laughing if he read this because I have been that miserable to him lately, but I am trying it has been a hard thing to have him home and not at work making normal money, but also to have him home and not being able to do as much and being so tired, it is hard to let someone have a nap even if they really need it when you yourself are not able too and really really are needing that nap to if that makes sense. sometimes I have felt like I had 4 kids with everything going on and now that he has made some steps forward this has helped me alot. I know there are always going to be things in front of our views that we think is the hardest thing that Heavenly Father has given us but let me tell you never wish for more, be grateful for what you have and count those blessings.