Day 13-Goals

Day 13-Goals

I have lots of goals in life, probably the first and most important goal, to learn how to sleep more.....I guess I have few more years for that one!

my personal biggest goal is to not stress about the simple and small things, to enjoy life more

( I am a worrier)

my goal is to help my kids become the best that they can become

and later when the kids are a little older I would like to go back to school and become a:

Occupational therapist!

I would also like to lose a large amount of weight and be alot healthier!

but for the most part I am not a good goal maker or keeper so I don't say much

day 12- what you believe

This sadly is probably the hardest out this whole challenge! I have loved doing this challenge as it has made me think of my family and friends and why I do things and why I don't and who and how I am! it is amazing the things you learn about yourself and about others.

Beliefs are one of those things I have always been quiets about and I have always tried hard to respect how people feel and what they believe.

Alright. Here it goes....


I believe in living a good life. This means that I show respect to others, even if I do not agree with them. It means that I do my best to be honest, gracious, and take accountability for the choices that I make. I believe in quietly helping people around me, not for praise or glory but because they need help. I believe there is strength in family and friends and that I should show my love and appreciation for them. I believe that I should make a stand for the things I believe are right no matter what the consequences are. I will speak up for myself and be a voice for those who are unable to do so themselves. I believe that faith is a cornerstone in my life and as long as I hold on to my beliefs there is hope for tomorrow.

Day 11 favorite Tv shows

well that is funny because we have cable and it is hard;y ever turnned on.......so why do we have it......ummm another good question!
when we do remember we watch:
The big bang theroy because it is super funny and we relate to it alot!
and then some of David's favoirtes ( i watch them too but he remembers more than me)are:
2 and a half men
how i met your mother

but really tv is one of those if we remember thing!

Day 10 something you are afraid of

WOW this list could go on forever, I have alot of fears and as I get older and well learning more about things I have more anxiety issues than I think alot of people normally would.

probably the first thing sadly on my list is, I worry what people think to much, I hate being a reason people are upset or unhappy but learning to get over that one, but I am a person that NEEDS to know when I have done something people like ie: making a cake or a treat I love to know that they LOVED it!

I worry about my kids all the time, I want them to be happy and I don't want them picked on at school, part of the reason I am currently homeschooling as I know what it did to me as a kids, another reason that I have been struggling with them going to church and being picked on and I had that and I played the it is not bothering me card, and well years later it is still bugging something that have happened and still tend to happen.....why people don't get talking badly about people to there face and behind there back is NOT A COOL THING!

I am afraid of mice and most bugs but I think most women are.

I am also afraid of not being the wife I need to be to my husband I do love him dearly.....even the days I want to hang him up.....I do worry alot about him too, he has been through alot in the last 2 yrs since his accident at work.....I do hope things do get better for him one day soon!

Day 9 put your ipod on shuffle first 10 songs

Day 9 put your ipod on shuffle first 10 songs

feels like home by edwina hayes -

Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson Everybody

 It Matters to Me by Faith Hill
Behind The Clouds by Brad Paisley Cars OST 

 When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss & Union Station A Tribute Album 

Fall into me by Sugarland

Didn't Even See the Dust by Paul Brandt

All I Want to Do by Sugarland 

Find Yourself by Brad Paisley Cars Soundtrack

Very Last Country Song by Sugarland

They all mean something, some more motivating and others are just fun and get me moving!

Day 8- places you have travelled!

I have not travelled alot I came to Alberta when I was 2 from Ontario, I have been back 2 times well I was still young, I have sadly never left Canada and for the most part have as a Adult only seen BC, Sad I know!hence the reason I would love to do away!

but I have now seen:
Creston, BC
Kimberly, BC
Smithers, BC
Telkwa, BC
Terrace, BC
Huston, BC
Jasper, AB
Banff, AB
Edmonton and Calgary and Red Deer.....

okay and a few other places but these are the "main" cities I have seen!

Day 7-Favorite Movies

To be honest about this I really don't have a favorite movie I love and go back to all the time, a couple that I do like is Martian Child because it talks about a child that is different and someone totally takes him in and loves him! and the other one that I have enjoyed for some of the same reasons close to the heart ( I am a emotional person and so I tend to like things I can relate with) that movie is my sisters keeper, it really taught me to remember that I still have more things to focus on than a diagnosis!

Day 6 — A song that makes you cry {or nearly and why}

                     Day 6 — A song that makes you cry {or nearly and why}


This is a song that holds a near and dear meassage to me.....it came out just after Dallin was dignosis with Autism....many tears were shead, as I needed the faith to know things were going to be okay....things have been okay but there is a long dark road that we still face every day, what tomorrow will be.....but we have more faith today than we did that first day!

Day 5- pictures of things that make you happy

Day 5- pictures of things that make you happy

My kids

My HERO'S

(next to there father)

but after watching and looking back what they have all gone through in the last 4yrs....they have dealt with it all well....better than us some days!

I love the mountains and the beauty from them, they are breath taking at times!

and pictures that just take my mind away to think!

I am a very simple person and I think trully most things that make me happy lead back to my family, spending time with them and enjoy the time....

I love time away with David to just think about life and where we are going, the pluses and the negatives...

we have have come along way in our 8yrs....and we have had some true rough spots!

Day 4---something you look forward too

Day 4---something you look forward too

right now I think the BIGGEST thing on my list would a vacation.....

far away from here!

currently there are 3 places I would like to go......

Toronto

My birth place, and we almost all my extend family is on my mom and dads side....

I would like to go and introduce my family to them vs through pictures, they have NEVER even met David...and I would like to take my kids to wonderland because I remember it being AMAZING!

Mexico

Ana is there and I miss her so much, she was a sweet sweet girl I was able to spend a winter with in Canada and learn a TON about there ways, and learned how to make corn shells like her, and anyone who has had them says they are amazing....just a ton of work, and it is crazy because they make them almost every day, the basics that is what we miss in Canada so much

and Jesus who is still in Canada but in Calgary, I would like to go when he is there, and spend time with the two of them and see the special spots of Mexico that they so love.

I am grateful that David got to work with Jesus and form such a amazing bond, I love all those guys he worked with that were from Mexico the sweetest guys they care so much about there friends, and I was privileged to be one of the "special" friends!

Tennessee

The person how has truly become my best friend......lives here, I would to go spend sometime there my Angie and get to know her and her kids more and Mr. Luke....

We have help each other through MANY tough times....and I am so glad that she has been able to be a good friend and listen to me....

and I would like to feel some WARMTH in my life too....

Day 3-Your siblings and parents

Day 3-Your siblings and parents

(the last time we were all together for a photo was our wedding in 2002)

I honestly wish I could say we were all closer.

I have two bothers both younger,

Jeremy is probably the brother I have always looked up to and been the closet too being that we are only 18months apart we did alot together we went to school and he was always just a year behind my and the teachers always would say why are you not more like your brother? but he got why are you not like your sister?

He was super smart without studying or trying in class and got AWSOME grade

I studied my butt off and either just past or failed....

always been one of those things.....some days I would still like his care free days being single and playing! but I wonder some days if he wouldn't want my life deep down and just says nothing!

Matthew is the baby and now he has his wife and kids too....

I don't have a up to date one as of yet.....I will look, Matthew and I have always just been there, I do remember doing more for him as a kid but now that we are older we do a few things together a year but sadly that is about it.....maybe one days as we get older we will get along better, but they have 2 boys and he married a girl named Christine too......actually she is me....we have the same first and middle and not she has my maiden name that I dropped!

my Mom and Dad....

over the years they have done the best they can.....I know I was not the easiest kid to raise but they tired.

My Dad....is my Hero 

 he is a man that did not get much schooling in his life but has tried to help raise his family the best he can, sure there are many things he could have done different but he TRIED and that is the most important thing!

My Mon is my other Hero

She has been through alot in life too but has tried the best she knew to be a GREAT mom.....we have NOT always seen eye to eye but that is okay makes us who we are....

The hardest day in my life was when my parents separated and then the second hardest days was when I was told is was almost final....I found out 10mins after I had been married that in 10days it would be final....I wish I didn't find out that way but I cant take that back, it has made me work a heck of alot harder at my marriage and not do the things I saw that made there marriage fall apart. They are both amazing people, just on different paths right now.

My Mom has since remarried Charlie and she loves him dearly....

He is not my Dad and it has taken me along time to adjust to him, but I am slowly learning to let him into our world a bit more all the time, he is a good guy but for anyone and I think a adult it is even harder to let someone in to a spot that was always someone Else's!

And then the other side.....not that they are not important too....

I got another set of parents that most days, I love dearly(I cant say every day because then I would be lying) and a Sister in Law...

and a set of Grandparents (so my kids have great grandparents)

this is all of last year at thanksgiving in Kimberly, Bc

if one thing this family has taught me is the BC is BEAUTIFUL.....I LOVE IT!

There is many other things they have taught me, my mom in law has taught me alot about baking and the joys that come from it which I some how missed a a youth....

This in my family.....most days I do love them all.....

I take them for what they are all of them!

 

Day 2 something that stresses you out

Sorry I am not doing so well at every day so I am aiming for 1 a week right now!

Day 2- Something that stresses you out

 I have no stress in my life............ummmmmmm that would be a lie, I could dream but totally a lie. I think I could write a book on how to stress a woman out a yet I am still standing to round of applause's for that.

I think my current stress would be about Mr Joshua, I love him so much and that is probably why it stresses me out soooooooo much. Do I keep him at home and home school or do I try to get him into a special class......we keep going back and forth, I really thought I could home school him but I feel like he needs more than I can offer and that stresses me out but more than anything I want him to learn and be happy and I think that is the part he is missing is being trully happy, as much as Joshua is a awkwardly social kids, he ENJOYS being around other kids, and well being at home there is not a ton of that, and with running around for Dallin and David I feel like putting him in something would make me want to pull my hair out. the frustrating part to me is I KNEW without a doubt I was suppose to home school him but now I am like was it just for the little time.....So for me to get my true answers I am going to start calling different schools to see the different programs and see if there is the option of Jan......who knows I just feel like I am not being the best mom and teacher right now for him because he is so all over the place and hard to get focused, still a hard spot.

Another of my million stresses, I think there is a true reason I put this on off....because I could write a novel about my stresses....don't get me wrong though I LOVE my life!

I love my David so much, and I stand behind him because of that fact(while beside him) David had been through a ton in the last 2 years, I wonder some days if we will ever see the light of WOW you are better totally or not but most days I try not to get down about it because it does not help him, but now that his EI medical has run out he is starting to have to look for work as his family doctor says constant migraines is not a reason to not work.....HAHAHAHA so here we are trying to figure it all out, and now social assistance is trying to do the push to get him back to work too....all good but I just hope it is not to much and makes him worse again, though he is starting to notice the PT has helped his migraine a bit, he says they don't spike like they were it is now more of a constant so we are getting somewhere in my mind. David is also applying for school too so hopefully he is able to get into school and better himself that way!

Sleep.....who needs that.....according to Sara she would think no one does, he has been getting up with the sun between 5-6am but thinking she should stay up till 10-11pm driving us NUTS! we have been pulling out our hair about her.....the fact that all 3 had been sleeping in the same room makes this all tough, as of tonight Sara is sleeping in the play room as I said she need some just Sara time and she has a bin of her toys she can play with when she wakes up but she is not to wake up her brothers, as they are kids that NEED there sleep and they are getting grouchy and then mommy and daddy get grouchy it is not a pretty world at all so here is to better sleeping nights so all my make it through this part of life! I don't care anymore if she sleeps on a air mattress in the play room as long as we all get SLEEP!

 My biggest stress in the world trully though and probably the closest thing to my heart, is my kids being picked on (other than money stresses but really who doesn't have all those) Dallin is just a kind and soft child who LOVES to make people happy, people sad make him sad and he will sometimes just start crying because others are....I have had to advocate alot for him lately as he was picked on at church and when it was brought up they told me he might have to learn not to be so sensitive, anyone that knows about Autism knows that statement is totally out there, you can not just brush some of these things off like that, I was going to totally let this ruin church for us all because I was like this is not something I should be having to deal with, than one day i woke up and was like WRONG this is something I NEED to fight for, Dallin deserves to go to church and Dallin deserves to not be picked on.....when Christ came to the earth who did he spend the largest amount of time with......the children....Dallin is a amazing little boy and has so much to offer if people would just stop to listen to him for a moment and feel of his love and peace.... He is one of my many hero's (all my kids and David are) but i love that it takes so much for him to get mad that people are mean to him.

I do love my life, I know I do have some stresses in life, but none that I can't seem to handle without a little bit of screaming.....but what would life be without a little bit of angry to know the true happiness and joys of life!

15 Day Challenge--Day 1 Self portrait picture, and 15 interesting facts

Self portrait picture, and 15 interesting facts



one of my favorite past times!



having fun with the camera well david was in the hospital



me at a trip away with David



 15 interesting facts

1. I think I would have to start with is I dislike pictures of myself...not sure if it is really intresting but was hard to even find these ones...

2. I hate socks, shoes, boots anything that make your feet hot! Yes I do live where it does get to minus 40 so I do have to put the sandels away sometimes but I hold on as long as possible.

3.I dislike being late, in my mind late is about 15 mins early for things, now with kids that makes it a little more fun but we try and often David says to me I need to be easier on myself because the kids do add to us not being on time all the time.

4.I like sitting in the back where ever I am cause I love to watch people

5. I need to sit on the edge of a long row as I get anxitey of not being able to get out or disturb people if I do need out in the middle of things.

6. I go to bed way to late, because after the kids go to bed, we try to clean up a bit and then zone out on the computer after a long day

7. I one day want to go back to school and become a OT, untill then I am just helping my kids figure it out.

8. I tear up when other kids do something you can see they were struggling with, they dont have to even be mine.

9. I am a control freak, I am the main person to drive when we go out because other peoples driving scares me

(I am getting better with age)

10. I am super sensitve, I need lots of positive feedback, I always second guess what I am doing weather it is about me or about the kids.

11. I lack movtiation to make new friends because I HATE putting myself out there to get hurt, sadly this year alone I had to lose 2 best friends to stand up for my family and kids.

12. I worry that I am not the best mom for my kids, that someone would and could do a better job for them, even though I know that is not true just most days overwhelemed by what God thinks I can handle

13. I have never left Canada

14. I love making cakes for people, because I love seeing the smile on there face.

15. I struggle with winter, I need to see the sun and go out....it makes me happy when I am looked in to long I go crazy!

 

15 Day Challenge

I have seen this on a few of my friends blogs, I read/stalk so I thought I would try this myself.....I might not do it everyday but I am going to try and maybe well others learn a bit about me I will as well....
I challenge anyone who hasn't seen this to try this..........

15 Day Challenge

since there haven't been any questionnaires or anything really different for awhile here is one and who ever wants to join in feel free it'll be fun to learn a little more about each other.....

{can't guarantee that I'll remember everyday but I'll try to but here is ....}

Day 1-Self portrait picture, and 15 interesting facts

Day 2- Something that stresses you out

Day 3-Your siblings and parents

Day 4- Something you're looking forward to

Day 5- pictures of things that make you happy

Day 6 — A song that makes you cry {or nearly and why}

Day 7-Favorite movies

Day 8-A place you've traveled to

Day 9- Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

Day 11-Favorite tv shows

Day 12-What you believe

Day 13-Goals

Day 14-Some pictures you love

Day 15- pictures of your Dream house

Struggling

*I know I have not been most positive person as of late, but for me this is a palce for me to vent and say how I feel this trully....I want to look back one day and see the good and the bad because without the bad, we would never turlly know good! Thank you to those of you that trully do support me through the good and the bad!*

Struggling, yep I am trying so hard to be positive and find the place where we need to be. We knew we strongly we need to be in Edmonton, and now we are like why?

*The doctor we thought would fight for David is saying he is fine by WCB doctors but he is not!
  -is it rebounding heads? we have no clue he has done 2 weeks with no meds.....but I know he was better when he was off all the meds he is on now, that the doctors say will make him feel better....so many factors in this one, the medical world is no fun at all

*David's EI medical ran out as of the 30th of Oct. and his doctor will not sign him off more.
 -yes we can apply for regular EI and we still have our social assistance, not both roads we either enjoy but yet the help is there......just the pride and the desire to do it on our own is tough.
*David's has started Physical Therapy, it is starting to help a bit, she said his OA joint is completely blocked, she said it is like pushing on a 2by4 and it should be flexible.---so hopefully that will help.
 -I am hoping this starts working quick as he is only allowed so many covered and then it becomes out of pocket and well the pocket does not have enough....
*We are greatful for the place we did get because it got us out of the motel and moving forward a bit but:
  1. the area is horrible-already had things stolen from our yard
  2. the 1 neighbour we have (we are a end unit) is horrible, we have had to call the police on them about noise and we must keep our doors closed almost all the time as the do drugs and we can smell that which is hard because on the main floor that is the only window!

  3. church.....that is a whole another topic.....
*David is starting apply to schools which a AWSOME thing, the motivation to do something he able to do is totally coming together, this accident did a ton to him emotionally, the fact you cant proved for your family is a hard thing, but he is trying.
*We have also been actively looking for a job for him still, until he is able to get into school so we are able to get ourselves back on our feet and not depending on others to help us.
*financial burdens is no fun at all!