Week #1 done!

Well week one went and it wasn't as bad as it could have been I did my last 3 of 4 shifts at superstore, I now in one way know what it is like to be a single mom, as I had someone put one own kids to bed those 3 nights it was hard and cause I was closing and really didn't get till almost 1 or 1:30in the morning and then had to get up and live my real life I burnt out and got sick and be friday I thought I was going to die, I had a 2hr nap well the boys watched a movie, it is hard not to be able to have a sick day at all, I know mom's don't normally get one but when there is no one to help there is nothing to be done but suck it up and move on which can be super hard. So Sat we went to let's play indoor playground park for brenna quist birthday party which was alot of fun the boys had alot of fun chasing each other. Sometimes it is hard to not judge others and I tell this story only to make myself feel a bit better I think but I watch this mom and tears were fighting to stay in and many times I had to walk away, This little girl is about 3, she is the cousin of brenna and as I watched her play my mind kept going back to Dallin and Joshua, happy to just play by herself, sort of lost in space you could see you with the look of looking for something and it broke my heart to see where she is and to know that if I see what is true this mom has this very very long path that I am on, that path I trully would not wish on my worst enemy I am thankful for what I have gone through and the things it has taught me but there is a TON of work there and it is so hard on any parent to watch there child just not fit in just that same way to always know they are different in there own ways, and as the day went on we went to eat cake in this little room and this mom wanted so bad for this daughter to sit with the other kids and watched her scream and cry and try to break out of this room because it was hurting her so much to sit there and the mom sitting crying on the floor with her pleading for her to come back to the table or she couldn't have cake, my heart aced as I watched this cause I did the same fight and all I wanted to do was scream just let her eat the cake on the floor and be glad she is in the room! it is so hard to be a by stander because I was watched people tell me how I thought it should be and how hard that was on me, as a mom when you are struggling that much you don't need someone telling you how to be that child's mom I hate it now to this day when someone
tells me what I am doing!
Anyways new topic as I could go on all day about that! me and the boys drove to Calgary after that to spend the long weekend with David and Sara it was nice to spend time with them we did not do alot as I felt so sick and worn out but it was nice to have that time together and for me to be able to have a little extra sleep to try to get healthy and be able to come back and deal with my life again here. It was hard leaving David and Sara there again for another week but this is what is best right now for all of us only a few more weeks....okay about 2 and half more weeks! the move day is for June 7 well that would be the walk out day to do the pack the truck on the Friday and leave first thing on the Saturday morning :)
well that is all for now!