Sunday, April 19, 2009
Friends!
I am trying to figure out life, I have a couple close friends but not alot, good and bad as I sometimes want friends and some days I so don't. But lately I have been thinking it would be nice to be able to have a girls night out but really I don't have friends that really do that, and then I try to think maybe there is things with church I can do......NOPE nothing lately. I go to quiltin Monday morning when David doesn't work, but at the same point as much as I love going there it is many older ladies that are in the grand baby stage so they don't have the same understanding. I go to church and I feel like a fly on the wall, actually today we didn't go because both David and I thought our heads were going to pop off. Put yet we can miss a month there and no one even calls to see if we are okay. I guess I am getting to a point for the first time in my life I NEED some friends and I don't have them here in the same city and it is so hard we moved here for family support and they do help but it is not the same as friends who you get to hang out with! It is making me really think my life over and over again. I know the church it's self is true but the people seem to be becoming more different all the time if that makes sense.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Update!
I am here again I know I need to update this but I am having a hard time just doing everything I need too otherwise, I do sit at the computer often just staring blank as the thought of typing out my thoughts is sometimes way to hard and to emotional and really for the most part I am like no one needs to hear me complain about where my life is about or how I am a bad mother or anything like that but I figure I should do a little run down of where life is right now.
David still can only work a max of 6hrs and even that sends him over the edge and he must come home and sleep because he is then a write off for much else cause then his head pounds. Which I know is hard for him, and most days I am understanding there are days this gets hard as I want more done all the way around. I guess the hardest part is.......he is not the same person still as before the accident, is this a bad thing most days......NO some days YES but who would not be able to honestly say that......
Dallin has Therapy Monday to Friday from 9am-12, for the most part it is going well, do I think it is helping over all, a little but nothing is jumping out saying this is the best thing since sliced bread. and then he goes to school from 1pm-3:30 and we come home do dinner and then bed so much fun, some nights there is a little more play in there
Joshua- still has no aid, so we spend almost all morning trying to find him something to do so he is not bothering Dallin, easier said then done, him and Sara fight most of the morning and then that is done. And then he goes to school for the afternoon.
Sara- oh how I love my little princess, yes that is what she is! I do love her every much but some days I wonder if she might be what puts me over the edge. In the morning she does her best to pick on everyone and make them scream at least one. and then in the afternoon most days she still has a nap, and I am thankful for that nap!
Me----I am a Mom/aid/ therapist during the day, I am a referee 90% of the day between the kids and between David taking his own anger out on the kids not meaning too but he does. Also I am working 2-3 days a week at superstore to try to make up the money form David not working and really it is helping to get out of debit! which is nice but let me tell you I am burning out really quickly right now. I had a melt down myself and sat in my room with my door closed and cry for a good 20Min's yesterday. I am just a little down. I need to find a new way to deal with everything I am hoping to get some more answers this week with all of David's doctors apts. Though I think it might be my turn to go to the doctor to find out why I am so tired but I am sure I know what he is going to say and I am not sure how I change my life to less stress to make this better for everyone :S hopefully I can figure this out soon......
oh well I will update the blog at least with pictures soon.
David still can only work a max of 6hrs and even that sends him over the edge and he must come home and sleep because he is then a write off for much else cause then his head pounds. Which I know is hard for him, and most days I am understanding there are days this gets hard as I want more done all the way around. I guess the hardest part is.......he is not the same person still as before the accident, is this a bad thing most days......NO some days YES but who would not be able to honestly say that......
Dallin has Therapy Monday to Friday from 9am-12, for the most part it is going well, do I think it is helping over all, a little but nothing is jumping out saying this is the best thing since sliced bread. and then he goes to school from 1pm-3:30 and we come home do dinner and then bed so much fun, some nights there is a little more play in there
Joshua- still has no aid, so we spend almost all morning trying to find him something to do so he is not bothering Dallin, easier said then done, him and Sara fight most of the morning and then that is done. And then he goes to school for the afternoon.
Sara- oh how I love my little princess, yes that is what she is! I do love her every much but some days I wonder if she might be what puts me over the edge. In the morning she does her best to pick on everyone and make them scream at least one. and then in the afternoon most days she still has a nap, and I am thankful for that nap!
Me----I am a Mom/aid/ therapist during the day, I am a referee 90% of the day between the kids and between David taking his own anger out on the kids not meaning too but he does. Also I am working 2-3 days a week at superstore to try to make up the money form David not working and really it is helping to get out of debit! which is nice but let me tell you I am burning out really quickly right now. I had a melt down myself and sat in my room with my door closed and cry for a good 20Min's yesterday. I am just a little down. I need to find a new way to deal with everything I am hoping to get some more answers this week with all of David's doctors apts. Though I think it might be my turn to go to the doctor to find out why I am so tired but I am sure I know what he is going to say and I am not sure how I change my life to less stress to make this better for everyone :S hopefully I can figure this out soon......
oh well I will update the blog at least with pictures soon.
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