so I have been doing awsome running on the treadmill, I was up to almost 20mins of full running on my treadmill but i think my treadmill hit its last life last night, the belt has been sliding over for awhile and I cant get it to stay anymore :( so I thought I would go for a run outside, I need to run....you know that feeling in your legs when they just want to go and so I was like I am going....
so i went and ran around the block only probably 10mins but I struggled to run the entire time, but I am proud with the fact I didn't give up....it took me awhile to learn inside so assume it would be the same outside, but it was nice to feel the wind against my face! something I need to still do once I am in school....I need to still take that time for me, I am sure it will all help with the stress....
what is your favorite running song?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Find The Beat Again
finding the beat again, wow life is about to take a huge change for me.....I did not know for sure till Thursday morning, but I start school on Tuesday, I am so excited and so scared all in one! as I have not been to school in many years and English was the course I struggled with the most but here I am, I am about to do my English 30 so I can get into Grant McEwan in September, I need to give them my marks in May saying I am doing awsome in my English course....and then I can go to school. I know without a doubt this is going to be a hard task but I know that there are many positives from this, my kids will learn how important school is, I will gain some self confidence in myself and in the end I will be able to support my family better.
I will need all the prayers and happy thoughts from everyone as I need to get a 65% in my English class, I have never got over a 60% so please keep me in your thoughts for the next few months! my course is from April till July and then....off to big kids school as my kids call it!
The end result from school would be.....Special Needs teacher assistant!
I will need all the prayers and happy thoughts from everyone as I need to get a 65% in my English class, I have never got over a 60% so please keep me in your thoughts for the next few months! my course is from April till July and then....off to big kids school as my kids call it!
The end result from school would be.....Special Needs teacher assistant!
feelings close to my heart.....me talking about my church feelings and emotions
it is not very often I talk alot about my beliefs but sometimes I think i should do more of it, and if I offended people well, they will get over it or forget about me. I am who I am, I am made whole each day because someone cared for me and gave up his life for the world.
As I sat last night in the Edmonton Temple I felt something I have not felt so strongly in a long time, I have been working so hard on what a relationship is to me and what is involved in that relationship good and bad! and many tears have come in the last week as I was challenged to write this out, and it has been interesting to just type and not think about it, and then go back and read it. My heart has been full and my heart has been broken a little more than it was, as I realize more of the lies I was living in sadly.....the tears came
As I sat in the temple (if you want more info on the temple) I watched few people, the person going to the temple for the first time and the memories and feelings that were there, and then I watched a person who I look up to he was the "best man" at our wedding, and well currently he is a best man, he is still active in the church and able to be in the temple! and I watched him, memories flood of the day I got married and how special that was to me, my of my dreams was fulled....but that dream has sort of been broken into a thousand pieces, no one ever goes into a marriage thinking they are going to walk away with a divorce or why would we do it, but heaven it hurts more some days then others. And then there was a third person there, who has been my support through this trial, my bishop.....I never thought it would be emotional to be there well he was there, but I was wrong because as I sat there, the memories and the talks we have had to get me there came back, he was the one to take a chance with me and challenge me to go back in Feb, and I remember saying I am not sure I can do this, and he said you can do it! and I sat there last night and at the end with tears in my eyes...he said "you in the right place" and more tears and emotions came out. i know more than ever I am in the right place, but being in the right place is not always the easiest, or the most accepted place!
the person that I could feel the most last night was my Heavenly Father with his arms wrapped around me, giving me the little push saying go forward with faith you can do this next step. I know there are some huge changes coming but I know without a doubt that they will all be GREAT changes. I know going to school as scared as I am will be a AMAZING thing, I know I am going to grow and change so much. but as I sat there and listen and thought about Easter coming up I also thought of the things that that means to me....and what that meant to Christ. He hung on a cross for us with nails in his hands and also in his wrists because they were afraid of the weight tearing, well heck even then I think is going to, but even if you take a small moment and think about what that would feel like to you, that intense pain that must of been for him, but he did it for us so we could be able to return to our Father one day, I look forward to that day and I hope to be able to say " I did all i could, i served and loved as you would have asked us to do!"
to go with Easter here is a Reflections of Christ Slideshow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oteno81QzzQ&feature=related
As I sat last night in the Edmonton Temple I felt something I have not felt so strongly in a long time, I have been working so hard on what a relationship is to me and what is involved in that relationship good and bad! and many tears have come in the last week as I was challenged to write this out, and it has been interesting to just type and not think about it, and then go back and read it. My heart has been full and my heart has been broken a little more than it was, as I realize more of the lies I was living in sadly.....the tears came
As I sat in the temple (if you want more info on the temple) I watched few people, the person going to the temple for the first time and the memories and feelings that were there, and then I watched a person who I look up to he was the "best man" at our wedding, and well currently he is a best man, he is still active in the church and able to be in the temple! and I watched him, memories flood of the day I got married and how special that was to me, my of my dreams was fulled....but that dream has sort of been broken into a thousand pieces, no one ever goes into a marriage thinking they are going to walk away with a divorce or why would we do it, but heaven it hurts more some days then others. And then there was a third person there, who has been my support through this trial, my bishop.....I never thought it would be emotional to be there well he was there, but I was wrong because as I sat there, the memories and the talks we have had to get me there came back, he was the one to take a chance with me and challenge me to go back in Feb, and I remember saying I am not sure I can do this, and he said you can do it! and I sat there last night and at the end with tears in my eyes...he said "you in the right place" and more tears and emotions came out. i know more than ever I am in the right place, but being in the right place is not always the easiest, or the most accepted place!
the person that I could feel the most last night was my Heavenly Father with his arms wrapped around me, giving me the little push saying go forward with faith you can do this next step. I know there are some huge changes coming but I know without a doubt that they will all be GREAT changes. I know going to school as scared as I am will be a AMAZING thing, I know I am going to grow and change so much. but as I sat there and listen and thought about Easter coming up I also thought of the things that that means to me....and what that meant to Christ. He hung on a cross for us with nails in his hands and also in his wrists because they were afraid of the weight tearing, well heck even then I think is going to, but even if you take a small moment and think about what that would feel like to you, that intense pain that must of been for him, but he did it for us so we could be able to return to our Father one day, I look forward to that day and I hope to be able to say " I did all i could, i served and loved as you would have asked us to do!"
to go with Easter here is a Reflections of Christ Slideshow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oteno81QzzQ&feature=related
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Grey's Anatomy Musical- Ending song
this song, just hit me....I wish I had the someone I was "made" for!
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