it is not very often I talk alot about my beliefs but sometimes I think i should do more of it, and if I offended people well, they will get over it or forget about me. I am who I am, I am made whole each day because someone cared for me and gave up his life for the world.
As I sat last night in the Edmonton Temple I felt something I have not felt so strongly in a long time, I have been working so hard on what a relationship is to me and what is involved in that relationship good and bad! and many tears have come in the last week as I was challenged to write this out, and it has been interesting to just type and not think about it, and then go back and read it. My heart has been full and my heart has been broken a little more than it was, as I realize more of the lies I was living in sadly.....the tears came
As I sat in the temple (if you want more info on the temple) I watched few people, the person going to the temple for the first time and the memories and feelings that were there, and then I watched a person who I look up to he was the "best man" at our wedding, and well currently he is a best man, he is still active in the church and able to be in the temple! and I watched him, memories flood of the day I got married and how special that was to me, my of my dreams was fulled....but that dream has sort of been broken into a thousand pieces, no one ever goes into a marriage thinking they are going to walk away with a divorce or why would we do it, but heaven it hurts more some days then others. And then there was a third person there, who has been my support through this trial, my bishop.....I never thought it would be emotional to be there well he was there, but I was wrong because as I sat there, the memories and the talks we have had to get me there came back, he was the one to take a chance with me and challenge me to go back in Feb, and I remember saying I am not sure I can do this, and he said you can do it! and I sat there last night and at the end with tears in my eyes...he said "you in the right place" and more tears and emotions came out. i know more than ever I am in the right place, but being in the right place is not always the easiest, or the most accepted place!
the person that I could feel the most last night was my Heavenly Father with his arms wrapped around me, giving me the little push saying go forward with faith you can do this next step. I know there are some huge changes coming but I know without a doubt that they will all be GREAT changes. I know going to school as scared as I am will be a AMAZING thing, I know I am going to grow and change so much. but as I sat there and listen and thought about Easter coming up I also thought of the things that that means to me....and what that meant to Christ. He hung on a cross for us with nails in his hands and also in his wrists because they were afraid of the weight tearing, well heck even then I think is going to, but even if you take a small moment and think about what that would feel like to you, that intense pain that must of been for him, but he did it for us so we could be able to return to our Father one day, I look forward to that day and I hope to be able to say " I did all i could, i served and loved as you would have asked us to do!"
to go with Easter here is a Reflections of Christ Slideshow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oteno81QzzQ&feature=related
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