Well I have been trying to keep up on life for everyone but sometimes life gets ahead of me, what that is what seems to be going on alot. I was reading Keri-Ann's family page and how she listed what she had done in the last month to prove that she had done things too herself and it made me think, I am trying really hard not to be hard on myself but let me tell you that is one of the best things I do to myself, tell myself I could be doing more or doing it better which is not great either! I can see my problem but I am having a hard time trying to change the way my mind thinks.
Some know why we came to Calgary and did not stay in Edmonton and others don't let just say I was on my way to a emotional/physical breakdown from doing to much without support well being here has been good because we have been able to get out without kids alot more, which has been a blessing and living with my in laws has been good but the time on that in my mind has come to a end and now we are trying to find a place to call our own, you would think this would be easy right? well you would be wrong! We have had our names on waiting lists and heard nothing we are looking into buy a place, we will see how that goes on Thursday. All I can sadly think of is the negative that we are never going to ge4t anything cause we have not the best credit and all that and that we are going to be at my in laws forever, which it is not the worst thing in the world but i just NEED my own space and MY way of doing somethings if that makes sense. So till Thursday will be a long time of many tears for me, as I pleade with my Heavenly Father to let things work our way. But I am not sure if he is listening right now as we have not been totally active, we are not being horrible people it is just we are trying to figure things out for our family and with many things going on it has made us both question so things which happens with many of us, and we have not been able to get help with the kids at church so it is really hard for us to go to church because it is such a fight for the kids so till things relax we may be less active......I hope that will be the turning point for us when we are in a ward that wants our kids and us as this ward has not really made a "warm" welcome for us which is sad.
okay I am going to stop rambling cause I have probably made no sense!
3 comments:
well 2 of our neighbours are moving; I think it's us :D
they are rentals but there are also LOTS of places in our area castleridge) to buy. Hope you find something soon, it's always easier to have your own space again.
oh i'm so glad he is ok!
keep positive and DON"T GIVE UP! i can't even imagine how hard something as simple as church can be for your family, but take it one day at a time. and PLEASE don't give up. don't wait for something to happen, make it happen now. (i can talk like that because i used to be your vt right?!)
I have to say thank you to those close friends I have, I sit here with tears rolling down my face because I know that there is someone out there whos world is harder than mine but they still keep going.
Church is one of the hardest things for us, and without support church is not possible and to say the least since moving into this ward we have become less active as there is not the support we need, it is not because we don't believe it is because I don't have the strength to do this on my own right now, it is easier right now to stay at home which is sad I never was like this before I would just fight and go but maybe that is because I have never felt so attacked as I have in this ward either, I have people coming up to me and telling me I caused my kids Austim, Thanks that is what I needed to hear!
We have found a place to rent that we go look at tommorrow (sat) that hopefully we will get for Oct!
Sorry I am trying to be more postivie life is coming together slowly!
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