I am Selfish!

I know that this may come a shock to some but I am in a selfish mood latley and here is why......I know that we are suppose to go back to calgary, to be closer to our families
1. to help my mom with her health a bit as much as I can between my life!
2. to get more support for us, and our kids as I am burnning out alot latley which in turn makes you a BAD mom!
3. for David to be able to live one of his dreams
There are many more reason but those are some of the major ones.

Now for those of you that do know the whole story Philp(my father in law) has been talking about moving for along time now to some small place so he can make lots of money to retire with as that point in there life is coming up! So the other day I got on my street map finder thing that tells me how far and how long it will take to get somewhere and lots of other cool things, well needless to say it made me cry because his close spot is 9hrs and 45 mins a way from calgary and the other place was 14hrs, I knew at this moment the support I would need would be gone because I would not just be able t0 drive for the weekend like we do too Calgary from Edmonton and really this is the family that we have that can come at a drop of the hat and help when we need right now because they have car type thing, being in Calgary would be a bit different because then my parents are there too and could help but still one of my main supports would be gone! I have tried really hard not to say much because I know they need to do what is right for them but at that same point there is a huge part of me yelling out NO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED, I need you and so do my kids! My kids are finally getting to the point where they are excited when they hear anything to with grandma and grandpa, it just makes me sad to think if they do move even for a couple years it would be a long long couple years.......and there are many other reasons why i do not want them too move but they are all mine, okay this post is all about ME! I am the reason for all things this week! I think a huge part of all of this is just being so burnt out myself and needing that extra set of hands at apts, and driving to different things I just can't do it all and I want to have more time to be able to do more therapy with my kids but that means I need someone else to be helping with my other kids! okay I am going to stop but I am putting in my last comment......WENDY AND PHILP YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MOVE AWAY FROM US! (I love you and I am sorry it is just my feelings, and I have shed many many tears over the thought of you moving)