our weekend away

well David and I have not had a trip away without kids in....ummmmm lets see 5yrs is the last time we had a night in a hotel away, by ourseleves and that was our first aniversary! so this was well needed and deserved! We decided to go to Banff for the weekend we didn't do alot put it was nice to just relax and well sleep in if we wanted! on Sat morning we actually got up for breakfeast and then came back to the room to get ready for the day and feel asleep for another hour or so it was just nice to not have any demands on us, the only BIG thing we did was the hot springs and the rest we walked around window shopping and resting! here are some pictures from the event!

this is the first picture before we even got to the hotel

this was after we checked in and got ready to go out for dinner, David had helped his dad all morning so a shower was needed!

This was the 2 hot tubs, we spent a lot of time in these the night we were there, it was nice to sit and have no where to go and no kids screaming, this first night was harder than the second night but still good.

So for Dinner our first night we went to Tony Romas, which was really good, very very quiet and intresting to sit at a very small table and not have kids fighting you but still very nice.

This is David at Dinner :)

Than a few pictures on the way back! I was being a tourist this weekend. :)

DAY 2

Today we went to the hot springs and then we went and walked and walked and walked around banff, then we picked up a chicken dinner from Safeway just to take back to the hotel to have a quiet dinner, after we were done we went to Earl's and had some deserts! So here are some pictures from the day.

we really enjoyed this part of the day it was very very relaxing......this last picture was the view

Day #3 home time

We were told to take our time coming home but we were both just ready to see the kids so we had breakfast and got ready to go home after that!

As much as this was a hard time at first, I really really enjoyed getting to know my David again without kids, and we will be doing this again before another 5 yrs happens, now that we know our kids won't die without us, it is hard to trust that first time that everything will be okay!

it is by invite only now!

it is now done I have waited awhile and as of tonight it is by invite only as I think this was I will be able to share every thing that I feel, without alot of unknown readers, I will update our weekend fun tommorrow when we get home it has been nice to sit and relax I hope everyone is doing well

Peter Hughes work party

Today we had a work party, at 2 pm we left the yard to go watch the Peter Hughes boys, mainly the Mexican kids and another landscape company who had almost all Mexicans as well play a game of soccer and then we went back to the yard again and had a barbecue. It was a lot of fun VERY VERY different from my normal life but always fun for a bit of change, Classic was almost all members and non drinkers and here we are about the only ones that do not drink and they are kinda shocked that we don't it is like we are strange, but i am glad we are having this chance for a change it is so good for us!

I am behind

I know I am behind and I am trying to catch up as some maybe noticing but I am going to stop for a bit today and try a bit more later, and get some pictures in there as there is alot of fun one especially form our last couple weeks, so keep coming back

A thank-you too Achieve!

I meant to do this awhile ago but life has truly been a little much since the move!

the theme of summer: different is okay!

Well the last few weeks have proved that, it has been rough for the kids as what we thought would be ready for us was not totally, and for them this was super hard, today (June 19th) was the first time they had set eyes on one of there wings, it has been along week and half for them with no school and no therapy just mommy and grandma alot of changes but things have been good, alot of stimming going on but that is okay to me, they are learning alot by this! Dallin has started talking alot more too and able to slow down more and tell me what he would like we still have moments but it is huge gains for at home! and Joshua his aggression as come up about 4times more than it was but we are working with it and it is slowly working out I think and those who have worked with him know this to be true when it is not mom telling him what to do he hates you and says NO with force like none other so we are working on that as the is enough people here that I can walk away and have someone else work with him so that is great, his speech is coming along wonderful too, less pressure bring alot out in these boys!

now for my moment to each of the achieve staff:

Jessica:

Amazing team leader, kind and gentle and puts her whole heart into her work, you can tell that she loves what she does and helping the kids, both the boys truly had alot of fun with her, and I know they are sad that they have not done therapy and seen her! Thank you Jessica from the mom side for all the support you provided out family over the 7 months ish we were with you, it was a great learning moment and I will miss you as a part of our world.

Angie:

The most amazing therapist, the report her and Dallin had was so awsome you saw the growth so much and the love between them, this was not just a do what I say relationship for them they truly worked together, Dallin loved his days at the office with Angie, he was sad to the point of almost crying the days he could not go, and for my sake right now I have not asked if he misses Angie or Jen because I know I can't make it work right now to see them, but I do know he misses both of them! Angie you will go far in life with all the love and patience you have to give these kiddos, I think you are so amazing and have so enjoyed working with you and having you work with Dallin best of luck in the future!

Jen:

We have not been working with you as long, but you have truly been amazing with Dallin as well I have watched how you have helped shape him in his home environment which I think is that hardest place, and there was so much growth through that, he looked forward to his afternoons with you, I am sad that you too did not get that chance to say bye but know you old a special place in his heart for all the hard work you did with him! good luck with your summer and in the future with your own life!

Tamara: ( I might have spelt this wrong)

We just worked with you for a very short time, you are great, and I know you will do well! Joshua so enjoyed playing with you....even though it may not seemed like it some days he is a child that struggles very much to do different things some days! But it has been a pleasure getting to know you! good luck in the future

Charla:

how do you say wonderful and amazing in different ways I am not sure but I truly enjoyed getting to work with you, you are so real and try to look at everything from a "real" view can you do this in your real life? thank you, I need that so much and sometimes it is not a easy thing for a family to do even if it is so the right thing right now! You made me feel like I was a great mom instead of the "dumb mom", I am glad that you were able to see out real life and what that was not many people get to see what it is like everyday, I some how keep most of the things on a smaller level for everyone but me! but thank you so much for everything you have done for our family, and good luck to you and your family in the future.

Roz:

what pleasure to work with you as well, you are so great at looking at the whole picture and seeing what needs to happen! I loved being able to talk with you and see the different points on things, you are also able to make things real in life! I am truly going to miss having you apart of our family! good luck in the future to you and your family

Arlene:

Thank you for giving our family a chance, I know we only saw you a couple times but I know you are what makes a Achieve so great! I will miss working with you and these girls

I know I have said it a ton to everyone but THANK-YOU so much for everything you have done for our family we had a great team, it we will miss you as we look for a new team you will be in the back of our minds as you all were and are the best!

feelings!

I found this today on a support group I am on and it really hit home, unless you have been through alot of the maze it is very hard to understand where someone is.I know I have not been through it all as we just started this almost 2 yrs ago but nice to know there is someone else out there feeling the same way!
It hit home more because this afternoon, I had a sister from church call and she is on the RS board but she said I saw you were having a rough time on Sunday, and I tried to go through to explain what was going on but yet I felt like I was making no sense at all! I had tears because for me I know how hard it is for them to go to church every Sunday and try to sit for the 3 hours, and they do very well but the first few weeks we go to a new ward they sit at the back taking it all in, and for some this is such a simple thing but to us this a HUGE thing and we do not push them ever more than they can't take because at the end of the day who has to bring them down from there high place of fear and anxiety it is US! We do love our kids and we know that our Heavenly Father has given us a special role in life does that make it easier everyday NO! some days it makes it harder!
Anyways, this is a fun read to me!

Here's a twist on the more 'pretty' and well-known version of the poem, 'Welcome to Holland'. For me, I find this version more realistic and suited to where I began in the journey:

WELCOME TO BEIRUT by Susan F. Rzucidlo

(Beginner's Guide to Autism)

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with autism-to try and help people who have not shared in that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this.."

There you are, happy in your life, one or two little ones at your feet. Life is complete and good. One of the children is a little different than the other but of course, he's like your in-laws, and you did marry into the family. It can't be all that bad. One day someone comes up from behind you and throws a black bag over your head. They start kicking you in the stomach and trying to tear your heart out. You are terrified, kicking and screaming you struggle to get away but there are too many of them, they overpower you and stuff you into a trunk of a car. Bruised and dazed, you don't know where you are. What's going to happen to you? Will you live through this? This is the day you get the diagnosis. "YOUR CHILD HAS AUTISM"!

There you are in Beirut, dropped in the middle of a war. You don't know the language and you don't know what is going on. Bombs are dropping "Life long diagnosis" and "Neurologically impaired". Bullets whiz by "refrigerator mother" " A good smack is all HE needs to straighten up". Your adrenaline races as the clock ticks away your child's chances for "recovery". You sure as heck didn't sign up for this and want out NOW! God has over estimated your abilities.

Unfortunately, there is no one to send your resignation to. You've done everything right in your life, well you tried, well, you weren't caught too often. Hey! you've never even heard of autism before. You look around and everything looks the same, but different. Your family is the same, your child is the same, but now he has a label and you have a case worker assigned to your family. She'll call you soon. You feel like a lab rat dropped into a maze.

Just as you start to get the first one figured out ( early intervention) they drop you into a larger more complex one (school). Never to be out done, there is always the medical intervention maze. That one is almost never completed.

There is always some new "miracle" drug out there. It helps some kids, will it help yours? You will find some if the greatest folks in the world are doing the same maze you are, maybe on another level but a special-ed maze just the same. Tapping into those folks is a great life line to help you get through the day. This really sucks but hey, there are still good times to be had. WARNING! You do develop and odd sense of humor. Every so often you get hit by a bullet or bomb not enough to kill you, only enough to leave a gaping wound. Your child regresses for no apparent reason, and it feels like a kick in the stomach. Some bully makes fun of your kid and your heart aches. You're excluded from activities and functions because of your child and you cry. Your other children are embarrassed to be around your disabled child and you sigh. You're insurance company refuses to provide therapies for "chronic, life long conditions" and your blood pressure goes up. Your arm aches from holding onto the phone with yet another bureaucrat or doctor or therapist who holds the power to improve or destroy the quality of your child's life with the stroke of a pen. You're exhausted because your child doesn't sleep.

And yet, hope springs eternal.

Yes there is hope. There ARE new medications. There IS research going on. There are interventions that help. Thank God for all those who fought so hard before you came along. Your child will make progress. When he speaks for the first time, maybe not until he is 8 yrs old, your heart will soar. You will know that you have experienced a miracle and you will rejoice. The smallest improvement will look like a huge leap to you. You will marvel at typical development and realize how amazing it is. You will know sorrow like few others and yet you will know joy above joy. You will meet dirty faced angels on playgrounds who are kind to your child without being told to be. There will be a few nurses and doctors who treat your child with respect and who will show you concern and love like few others. Knowing eyes will meet yours in restaurants and malls, they'll understand, they are living through similar times. For those people you will be forever grateful. Don't get me wrong. This is war and its awful. There are no discharges and when you are gone someone else will have to fight in your place.

But, there are lulls in wars, times when the bullets aren't flying and bombs aren't dropping. Flowers are seen and picked. Life long friendships are forged. You share and odd kinship with people from all walks of life. Good times are had, and because we know how bad the bad times are, the good times are even better. Life is good but your life in never normal again, but hey, what fun is normal.

going private

so after much thought I will leave this open a week and then I will make this a Private blog, as I feel for our family that it needs to be a closed blog and that I know who is looking at the blog that I need to make it private! if you would like to continue to read my blog just email me or comment and I will add you!

Thank you and hope everyone is well

Christine

Welcome home (with a added part...on the 19th of June)

Welcome home, really is about how I feel as this is where I have spent most of my life! To David it is not so much home, but he does enjoy it a bit here! he is very very much a Edmonton boy :) maybe we should be living in the middle and then it would not be so bad!

For those who don't know our whole story we have moved back here so that we are able to get extra support with our kids, I do love them dearly but with the extra help they need extra hands is important at times! it will be nice to have a break every once in awhile as we have not had one in a while! I know summer will be a bit tougher for us but over all this will be a good move once we are settled.

Here is a letter I wrote some friends but I thought I would share as this is the comment I got from one of them.....

Your Different is Good deserves a “Well said!” for diplomacy.

hello friends,
I hope things are going well for you all, I thought I would touch base and let you know that yes I am in Calgary now! and yes things are getting better! it was a horrible move, everything that could have went wrong did and I am sure there is still probably more to go wrong still but it was really a eye opening event for me of how much I have let the "Autism OCD" kick in and control my life and my kids life and how small my little box was and how much had to be a certain way or life was hell.....it is so hard at times to be so positive and to allow ourselves a break from life, allow a melt down here and there so that they learn sometime it is not comfortable and sometimes it is different but they will be okay, I know you know how hard this is because I know you have been there! but my summer theme is different is GOOD and trust me my boys are not super excited but I feel well I have the extra hands I am going to try and add some more things too life! Anyways that is my ramble I hope life is doing well! I will send you the invite to my family blog so you can see how life is there is a cool poem there about "the autism guide" I laughed that is why is there but please do stay in touch I do miss talking with you both!
Christine

last day of Elmwood School

Today was the last day of school, I had lots of different meetings to close to year off, many tears where shed for this day, again it was the happy/sad day, as for Dallin this was last day he would spend with his teachers that he has had for 2 yrs that is along time for a child and he loves them so much

Max, Brayden, Aduke, Kyler, Ryle and Dallin, William was missing this day!

For Joshua it was still sad as he made some GREAT friends there and he will miss them and his teachers he trully did become a different child from the love of those teachers and bless there hearts for that!

green strip shirt is Ray, green beside Joshua is Kaydane, Laura and Sara and then Tim and Ethan, Devon was missing this day

the gift for all the teachers, they each got a note and a little animal that was a picture clip!

many thanks to those people that were in there lifes.

Bonnie was our PT at school, I will miss the great talks we had she is a woman that stands for power and strength, looking to find the best for each child and parent and her own children as she goes though this maze called life! I miss you Bonnie! Good luck next year with your new school you will do awsome.

Pauline, was our OT this was our first year working with you. I enjoyed the chance I got to get to know you and work with you, you did a awsome job this year and good luck with the new baby coming.

Kasha, was our in home consultant, super fun and out going loves the kids so much and works very hard to find the true balance between the family and the teachers and works hard to make life do able, you are so much fun Kasha will miss talking with you and good luck in the future!

Room 2--Joshua's Classroom

Donna, was Joshua's teacher, she was so outgoing and egar to help the kids, so went out of her way to make the classroom work for each child in there and that took a ton of work on her part, bless her heart for that. You know she did a amazing job cause as those kids walked out every few were sad, they all had smiles of Joy and I know Joshua truly loved school and was sad on the days where there was no school.

Melssia, Joshua's speech path, so much fun and so much drive to help these kids talk and be the best they can be. wanted everyone happy and doing the best! I love the effort she really put in with these kids. I love the talks I had with her, I will totally miss her as being apart of our family. Joshua loved working with her especially because she did it different with each child.

Shawn, was Joshua's TA. Shawn worked hard to be a great support for Donna and Melissa and she worked hard with the kids, she was great to get to know, I Joshua will miss her lots.

Room 1 Dallin's Classroom

Katy is our early ed teacher, she is a sweet amazing person that I have so enjoyed getting to work with, 2 yrs with the same teacher is awsome, sure we have are days were we probably drive each other crazy but really what relationship does not have those ups and downs! I know that Dallin trully loves her and when he realizes that his last day is in a week he is going to be really sad and it will really hit next year when he starts school again that she will not be there. I am sure next week I will shed more tears then anyone else, as I know without this school and program my kids would be totally different children today!

Jen the most amazing TA, I never seen someone who appears happy everyday all day! Dallin just loves her! she works really hard with Katy and Heather and with the parents to make it all work out and be the best, she is trully a go getter! good luck in the future I enjoyed getting to know you

Heather is Dallin's speech path, we have worked with her for 2 years now, Dallin has really enjoyed his time with her and has enjoyed learning new things with her! Dallin made HUGE gains with his speech in the last 2 years it is so amazing, I love the effort that Heather puts in she trys really hard to work with the families!

Good bye to Elmwood Elementary we will miss you all and good luck to all in the future you are all amazing women that we worked with!

the last day of Achieve

the last lunch at the office......then off to the park to play, at first it was just the boys with Angie, Tamara and Roz and then I came a bit way through.

then we went back to the office, and said good bye to Jessica as well! This was a sad day and a happy day all at once, I do miss these girls alot.

there was alot more of Jessica but these were the good ones!