my rant post.....of the bad mom of the month!

feeling like a horrible mom latley, I thought I would get better here but my temper and anger seems to be getting higher and higher, and the more pain I feel the worse it is! And because I am not so busy I tend to notice the pain I am in and how tired I am, my goal in the next month is to find a good family doctor I am comfortable with, I do not do very well with males not sure why and really it is a certain female I do well with :S makes it even more fun but I need to get in and figure out what is going on with me and why I am so cranky and hurting all the time! so this is my month of the bad mom award. I am pretty sure I am going to make it through all of these trials but sometimes I wish it could be a bit easier, I know there is a reason we had to move here and there are more and more reasons coming out but it is hard to take it all 1 day at a time instead of doing the I want it all right now and DONE patience is something I am trully learning and I am learning to trust my Heavenly Father more all the time! I know that my kids are being taken care of and that they will make it through this time alive I just need to get on my game and be doing something with them every day but when you are tired and hurt it is hard, sorry this post turned into a whine post but I think somedays you just need to whine and prove that you are human, I know in Edmonton around all the "professional" people I tried very very hard to keep it all together as I wanted them to think I had it all together but really I was burning the candle at both ends and almost killing myself trying to do everything I needed for all my kids so that is why we are here for a bit more support but it hit my pride hard to say I could not do everything for my kids all on my own that is a hard thing! it will get better I do love them but I need time for me too and now I am able to have some time to myself everyonce in awhile which is nice!