I have to say yes I love having the inhome services for the boys but somedays, it is just super hard to share my home, my life, my space with some people everyday. There are different ways of living different standards of living, I might not be a total perfect Mormon in all ways but somedays my head just never stops spinning from the smell of smoke from one day to another but my next problem is I am too nice to actually say anything to this girl like hey could you tone down your smoking before you come to my house, like how do you say that without by rude.
I also just want some me time, I know every mom wants this but I am so frustrated I took on this job at superstore as a break away from my life and now I so want it to end so I can sleep but with David being on WCB we need me working and it is just to much for me right now I never feel like I have a moment for me, I need to go to the doctor to see why I am tired all the time and not feeling well, but when do I have time NEVER because to go to a walk in you need more than a couple hrs and I really really don't know where to find that! I can't even leave my house for 5 mins with the aids here in the morning and then I drive the kids to school and I only have 2hrs there and then I need to pick them up and on some days it is back and forth between David and them with his therapy and then on to dinner and 2 nights a week I work and the other nights there always seems to be something or I am too tired to want to sit and be poked by someone I really don't know, I know I full of reasons or really full of excuses to my crazy life and sometimes I just need to vent and cry to myself and be alittle self centred because that is how I feel. I want to be happier and I thought being back on our own routines would get better I would deal with my life better but so far that has not been the case. maybe one day it will be once I get everything back to some what normal but who knows when that will be as David is not doing so well with his 4 hrs of therapy this week so we will see what they do yesterday was his first day of 4 hrs and he looked like crap and today he was still moving slow so when he went today I said make sure they know so I am not sure what the plan will become yet. Today is the lets look at the glass as it half empty vs the half full........
1 comment:
I can't believe your aids are smoking before they come and visit kids. That's terrible. If you're uncomfortable mentioning that you don't like the smell just talk to their supervisors. I am very sensitive to smoking, blame it on your kids. Just mention that they are having a sensitivity to it. You obviously can't get them to quit but you can certainly ask that they not have one just as they are walking into YOUR house.
Be strong, deep breaths. Don't pray for this to go away (He doesn't usually say yes to that one), pray for the strength to get through this.
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