The most amazing night in a long time!

Well for our birthday I got Paul Brandt tickets......as I need something for me everyonce awhile, David's parents came up to help watch the kids as all our "normal" babysitters were not able to come :s but we are glad that they are so willing to help us in our times! I really really enjoyed this night, though it took me alot to actually relax as we really don't relax often enough....



Didn't even see the dust is still my fav. song of the year!

http://hif.cmcmusic.ca/go/hif/mp3/10339/D1_1/

This song still holds a very special place in my heart as our life is very much a open playing field that we need alot of faith and trust to know we are going in the right directions, The kids mean so much too us, and I know our Heavenly Father knew we could do this but let me tell you it is not as easy as it looks some days! but we LOVE it!

WE GET TOO MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!

11:30 at night and the wait is well over......................We get to move into our bigger place, I am soooooooooooooooo excited and nervous and a whole ball of wax, now the worry of money and all that now begins :( i know it will all be good and I know this is suppose to be the right thing but GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I am going to go to bed now and wake up more stressed out and now I need to pack my place up :P oh my last night of really partying for awhile :)

where or where are we

Okay those that read this often I have added some back posts just so you know :)


Well, I sit here, trying very very hard to know what is happening is in Heavenly Fathers hands, we are still waiting to hear back about the townhouse, it is really hard for me as I want this so bad and we need this so bad, but yet we still have no answer on wheather we can move in or not, and the hard part is Jodi (the resident manager) said once we are approved we could move in Dec 15ish WOW that would be quick but here we sit waiting, not knowing at all what is going on, all we know is that Heavenly Father knows what is best! We are both trying harder to take the small steps to know that we are doing what is right, Prayers and scriptures and attending church.....I know that I will go crazy with my worries till i know it is just me, someone has to worry David's thoughts are that whatever is right will happen, I still struggle really hard with that. i know each place we have been at there is a reason, and this ward we have been in is amazing but I know there is something to learn out there, I think being over there would help alot of things David would try a again to get that push for a new job, as neither of us like driving too much, and 30-45 depending on traffic is alot of driving.

Today I was told though I was approved for busing from where we are, yep now that we are thinking of moving to a area where we know there is no options for busing to Elmwood, but I know in my heart they need to be there till the end of this school year and then I can move them......i know that will be alot of driving but at that same point if I am happy that will make things that much better......And Monkia has said I can come voulenter and time I want :S hahahaha i that was funny, you are going to stay on this side of the city you can always come help us, which I love being there and helping so we will see maybe a couple times a month I will find a siter for Sara so that I can do that as I think it would be great fun :)

Not sure how many people have knowen that David and I have been going for family therapy/ counciling, I know often I try to make it look like we have it all together that we never fight and that dealing with our kids is easy as pie......WRONG we fight often, about alot of little things that trully aren't that important but at that moment they trully seem like they are.....now it is not all kids that make life fun and peachy as all get out but us too, we both have our things that drive each other nuts but I think we are being forced in a loving way to find that love again that for me at least was fading away, it is getting better there are days that I really don't want to be married or a mom, I just want the simple life again but reality is, if I was to marry someone else this kids are still going to be there, and so alot of the same problems are still going to be there so we might as well try to find the balance we need in life, I know we both love each other every much but we have had alot of trials through our 5yrs of marriage and 3 kids 4 and under..... I know it will come together this counlcer we are working with is great! I think he just needs to push a bit more but I know that will come with time and we need a balance and a live of order to make things work even more :)
one step at a time though!

whats for dinner.....

Well David and I could not decided what we wanted for dinner I had said eggs and he had said KD, I had taken a few mintues away because I was done from the kids all day, I am getting alot of headaces latley with all the talking going on, I feel like I have Triplets some days with all 3 learning to talk at the same time, we all want our kids to talk and when they start we all ask how do we make them stop, I am at the how do we make them stop please!

Anyways, we hear the boys laughing so we both go to the kitchen and find the boys both pointing to the frying pan, guess they both knew what they wanted!

they both had to help clean to get dinner ready, which made me laugh really hard and David get mad as it is always so much easier to do it yourself, but he really has kids that want in and too help......

even little Sara wanted in there she was getting mad, that the boys could help and not her!

the end result of cracking eggs, now for the milk and then to make scrabbled eggs..........oh the fun of kids they keep us laughing at least!

Dallin's home visit for his IPP

Today we met with Katy Dallin's teacher to review his IPP (individual program plan) I always love this time, cause it lets me see if I am on the same page as the school, cause it means that they are seeing some of the same things I am seeing at home...anyways here is Dallin's till the review in Feb...

Goal #1
Dallin will improve his communication skills....
1. Dallin will respond to "wh" questions during circle or other structured activities with visual supports (they won't normally use why as it is a complex question)
2. Dallin will follow 2 step directions during structured activites twice a week with visual supports.

Dallin is showing more intrest in communicating with others. He will smile and use eye gaze and some words to attempt to engage others. Dallin is attempting to use more phrases when interating with others. He is frequently not understood by others and success is dependent upon adult interpertation. Dallin is learning how to repeat words, and phrases. He needs help to try again when not understood. He is able to follow to simple directions when on task and is beginning to respond to questions.

Goal #2
Dallin will improve his social play and Participation in classroon activities
1. Dallin will participate with a peer in a gym or center activity for 3 mins with adult support 4 out of 5 days a week.
2. Dallin will tolerate two transitions a day using visual supports and peer models

Dallin continues to improve his ability to participate. He struggles with rigidity at times and has difficulty making transitions. During these times Dallin requires time to clam down and problem solve. On days when Dallin is less rigid his ability to engage with adults and peers when not emotionally overwhelmed. This can happen when very upset or when extremely happy or excited.

I really feel they are close to seeing what we see, even if we are too move I really feel it is best for him to stay there till the end of the year. I know it is going to be hard and anytime I complain I may need a reminder that this school and worked wonders with out boys and helped make them the boys they are today and I am excited for that, cause only with true love do you learn and grow at this rate and I know they are being loved there a much or if not more some days then at home, don't get me wrong I do love my kids very very much but sometimes I get very very overwhlemed with the plate that has been places in front of me!

a vistor for Dallin

Today Jessica from Achieve came to talk about starting the in home stuff with Dallin, I am so excited they are going to start doing this 5 days a week in the afternoon after lunch/school, it is going to be a huge thing for Dallin and alot of work for him but I know he can do it, now I just got to think of goals I want him to work on at home and in real life......he has them for school (IPP) but they do the same thing for home, we are hoping to find out soon about that townhouse cause that will change everything they are setting up because it would be a far trip for someone over here on the south to go to the north! oh well the talks are started and life is going to get even better

a photo night.....

well here was another try tonight at christmas photos, the kids are having way to much fun with it, I think they move now to just try again and again and again......tonight we went to West Ed as they have the christmas trees set up.......and then I did some pictures of just Sara later after the boys were in bed it was kinda fun......I might even try to do some of David and I....see if he plays nice being that he is now sick and all....

Family pictures:
http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i172/mousir_family/another%20try%20at%20photos/

Sara's pictures:
http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i172/mousir_family/a%20sara%20night/

the most amazing day

okay after a long week, i was laying on the couch well the kids had a nap and then phone would not stop ringing, one person after another well anyways, FSCD called, they have a approved us to have 8hrs a month of house keeping, this is such a amazing blessing, they have only set it up for 6 months to see where the kids are at by that point but WOW someone to come help me, that is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awsome, it makes me feel like Iwill be a better mom already

Dallin's scare

So today I get a phone call from the school, now I am not sure about every other parent everytime I see the school number on the phone I think oh no what happened......well today I pick it up and Heather Dallins speech path says, Dallin is okay now.......but he did have a bit of issue today at snack time, at this point i quickely think in my mind what did I send for snack, chesse and crackers.....ummm that should all be good, you would think wrong, he put the cracker in his mouth just as he started a huge choughing spell and there it went and got stuck in his throat and they had to do the Heimlich maneuver oh him, which was scary for all but all was good and after all was said and done he turnned to Heather and point at his heart and said scared, which is huge for him.......I am so glad he is okay
when I got to the school he ran up too me and said mommy I was scared, and I said are are you okay now and Dallin was like in my throat.....I sure it is a moment he will remember for awhile... but because he was still contniueing to cough I called the dr's office because I wanted him checked to make sure he was good, we saw the most amazing dr, Dr.Walter's see got down to Dallin's level and even signed with him and he told her where he hurt I have never ever seen him be like this with any other dr even Dr Lee who he liked but it took us a long time for that.....so we will see I might ask to see her from now on :) but over all he is all good

Joshua's IPP visit

Today Melissa came today to bring Joshua's report to us, this in really one of my favorite time of the years as it is like a report card to me, where the parents and the teachers make the game plan of what to work on for the year. so here is Joshua's report.....

Goal #1
Joshua will increase his communication skills.

1. Following an adult model, Joshua will imitate a world more clearly 3 out of 5 times during circle or snack time.
2. With prompting, Joshua will initiate requests during routine situations (e.g. at snack, getting help with shoes, during project) by using two words/signs on 3 out of 5 observations.
3. Joshua will follow two step directions (e.g. cut a piece and put on glue) during project time 3 out of 5 observations.

At circle time, within routine, Joshua will request a turn, following the routine response of "me" or "I do". during centre time, Joshua will offer a word or two to comment of request. Often his word is unclear, causing his message to be lost. He will repeat himself and then wait for the listener to comprehend.

Joshua benefits from the audlt prompt and model to follow directions at project time. He is able to follow one step instructions with adult support.

Goal #2
Joshua will increase his play skills.
1. Joshua will imitate or copy something new that an adult or peer introduces, then incorporate the idea into his play (e.g. adult makes/ serves pretend cookies, Joshua copies this) during dramatic play at centre time 3 out of 5 observations.
2. Joshua will initiate appropriate play with one peer using short phrase/ sign modeled by an adult, 3 out 5 observations during centre time.

During centre time, Joshua needs considerable help to get started in play or to engage in purposeful actions. He currently, may select an area to play, but his actions can apper aimless or disorganized.

Goal #3
Joshua will incease his self help skills with dressing.
1. Joshua will indepently grasp and maneuver both zippers and velcro to fasten and unfasten personal items, during transitions, 3 out of 5 obervations
2. Joshua will orient himself to put on his jacket independently at home time, 3 out of 5 attempts.

During self-help routines, Joshua will request help, prior to attempting the skills of maneuvering zippers and velcro ( on his back pack and shoes) He requires help putting on his coat as well.


I am so excited to watch him change and grow this year, he is a boy of great will and drive I hope he puts it too work and it slows him down a bit, as wow he is a ton of work for me most days!

a try at family photos

there are many reasons why people go to people to get there family photos done, but I have decided what fun is that......I know we can get good pictures of our kids so why not try and try a little to get a good family photo, I have included the link from todays but here are a few of our favorites....







http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i172/mousir_family/trying%20to%20do%20family%20photos/

the hopes of a bigger spot!

Well I keep saying the month and the weeks have to get better and they are....there is just different stresses, We are currently looking to get into a town house which would be the most amzing thing in the world for us to have 3 bedrooms and a basment and a washer and dryer. This little apartment is way too much espically with the in home starting..........she (the resident manager at home ed) has said it normally takes a week so here we wait!

FSCD came today

today Jackie brought Dallin's new contract for the year, and it went over good, I am so glad that he is going to be able to start his in home therapy soon, it will be great to watch him grow and change.......today I also asked her if the can add in some house keeping because I am so struggling to be able to do that, deep cleaning never seems to get done we only ever do surface cleaning, it is really frustrating to me, I have always been a person that loves and needs a clean home and it is far from that latley. I know some of it is the kids and some of it is motivation and I have totally hit the bottom latley :S
hopefully things will get better

finally got a new dr for the kids

well a few tears might have been the only thing needed but it should not have got there, I am really sad that our kids Dr is gone for 6 months, Dr lee was a great Dr and her replacement and I did not see eye to eye, so I went back to the family Dr. to get a new ped Dr and see did a referral and then a week later they decided(the new Dr) to change there minds, and not take new patients I was very very angry so I called the stollery back and by this point I was in tears already has, the kids have had diarrhea for 2 weeks at this point and it was a little much for me and Danielle had called to say that she was not going to be able to come to it really was a combination of alot of things but I told Dr.Lee's nurses for not liking the replacement and that I wanted a new one she said she would change the Dr's and too bring in my new forms and they would get Joshua forms fixed for the government, I feel much better....I just need my breaks it is so important!

the potty is slowly becoming our friend.....

well things are going a bit better......Dallin has gone potty 3 times on the potty now! WOW what a great feeling that is for us, my dream to one day have kids out of diapers may yet come true ( I knew it would but sometimes it is hard to see the dimonad in the rough)......but yesterday he went once at school and then came home and went too, today was only at school so far but I keep asking him....and Joshua is trying too as he was going at school but then stopped but today he went at home on the potty... so it is exciting they are coming together, and there speech has come up alot in the last week too, I am so excited to see where they goo with this all even though it means more work in away for me....

done

okay after all the emotion melt downs on my part today, I decided I need to ask for some help.....I email the Reielf Society from chruch to get some meals you can only do so much on your own and then you need to let others serve you too, it is a blessing to serve others but it is also a blessing to be served! This is a hard thing for me to let my pride go and say I am done, I do not do this often at all because of the "I can do it myself" attittude but here I am a week of tears and a week of help to come, they lovinly brought we a week of meals well set them up so next so be a bit better get me on track again.............and I have decided I am asking FSCD for help with house keeping because i just can't keep up at all latley with the little things :S

the extra room is sort of done....

Well it is not totally done, but enought that they can play and if the in home was to start this week we are sort of ready, our room is a tornato and Dallin doesn't have his crawl place under his bed right now but we have the room we need for the boys, so there is not as much of the stress that I was feeling about where are we going to do this and how is this all going to work out....it is still a little crazy with our room and I told David I was going to set up Christmas this week so those totes are out of the way and he just kept saying it is too early but I see no problem there is only 50 days to christmas, anyways the kids are having great fun in that room we are having a hard time getting them out of there....... here is a few pictures from them tonight......Sara was the devil she is knowen to be......sorry about the viedo being the wrong way but you have the idea.....

So they were quiet this would be a bad thing right? yep it sure was the new and I mean 2 small bowls of cereal poured out the morning of ricekripes all over the room in there so what do ya do........you laugh cause otherwise your 2.95 is a waste right!

and then the clean up which is i think harder on the parents as it would be quicker to do it yourself but what are you teaching your kids.......

this is just for Tara.......

Okay there has been a disbute in David's family that stuffed animals have feelings now I am a whatever type person but I was storing some of them so I put them in the storage bags that you can take the air out of and this is what you get.....for the video you have to turn the sound up a bit but I got a good laugh which I have needed.........Sorry Tara but it had to be done......

I am so tired of sick kids, I do love my kids but the smell that comes with sick kids and the extra work that comes with them is no fun, butlet me tell you it has been a eye opener for me to watch and watch them closley the last few days, they are both talking so much more a day I almost thought would not come, it that sad yes kinda but at that same point I trully think it was how I have dealt or been able to deal in a loving way it to low my bar and let them be whatever my come, you have a dream of what your kids will be and what they will do you read all the devlemontal things they should be doing by this time, and too me it brings a tear to my eyes as I watch my boys struggle to be there age and do the things they are suppose to be doing, I know there is a reason to everything and I always thought they were doing things okay but ooops the bad mom in me didn't think anything of the lack of speech till our dr was like this is not right, and I am so thankful too her and the courage to read between the lines because I am not always very open with my wording even now someone asks me how many words my boys have I am like well somewhere between this and that, I think they are close and maybe that is too pad my own world I am not sure but it is honsetly frustarting to me as humans we have this whole, my kids can do this! can yours? attitude, why are like that.....it this what our Heavnely Father would want.....I know for me I have had a hard time with that as I am always trying to top someone else with what my child can do to make up for him and his lack of language and I hate it....and I go home feeling bad or I hang up the phone and was like way was I like that, as humans I think we are always trying to be something we are not and I am trying harder to not be like that because it is not a good thing, but it is hard....so back to my point I started with before my rant...they are talking more and pplaying so much better together they still have there days were they are fighting and which kids don't but they are happier as spark I have not seen in along time is starting to come back which brings a peace too me, I know they may never be right up too par with the kids there age but I know they have strenghs that many other kids could only dress of, I know my boys are going to bring many people closer to God though the struggles because God is the only person that has the true upper hand on there outcome....I know the Autism will be there through there lives it is not something that will be cured in my mind it is something they will learn how to adpat with and live in the real world with but they will be blessed because of it.....I know there are many out there that think they can be cured but if there was a cure would we be going through this.
sara my little angel, she is 15 months tommorrow it is so hard to beilieve it has gone by that quick, she is doing amazing.....I love her drive and determination to do things right or wrong if it is in her head to get it out is a hard thing.....she is or was talking more than we ever have heard the boys talk at that age or even now....but I am starting to notice less talking and more screaming latley and I am not sure why if it has something to do with watching the boys or of she is losing words, I am trying not to look at the negative too quickly byt sometimes that is really hard to me given the whole I already have 2 with some issue with langauge...and I am doing everything possible to get rid of some of the things that could lead too issues, like sadly she has no idea what to do with a sippy cup she can not make them work she is either a bottle baby or a drink box/straw girl as suppobaly sippy cups delay speech not sure how but I am like I already have 2 lacking lets make things as good as we can....but I have noticed her food habits are way bad already, she only eats the jar food really much else other than bread and potatoes must come from a jar and she doesn't want to touch stuff that is wet, dry is okay she hates being dirty at all.....I could go on with things and I have been thinking alot about what I am going to do with her, I know many people who do not give vainastions but we both David and I feel they are very important and have given them too our kids on time, but I have been holding back on the 18 month ones as I know these are the main ones people say cause problems right or wrong I am not totally sure, I know for Dallin the light they talk about them losing was gone before those needles as with Joshua so I know in my heart for them that it was not the 'cause' so why I am scared with Sara because everything almost seems too good to be true that something has to change and not be right.........it is trully my lack in faith that God knows what he is doing right now but I am afraid I don't want to lose what I have....
okay this is really a super long post but I needed to write my feelings about my kids I do love them I just worry a ton more than I need too but who would I be if I didn't worry....not me :)